1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Ah! Ah! 2 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:02,160 Ah! 3 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,680 Bridget, where are the soldiers? 4 00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:35,500 Keep your lips nicked on me. They're coming all the way from Camp Remark. 5 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,980 Murder Duval going out with a soldier. What'll people think? 6 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,740 Well, come on. Let's have some fresh water before the battle starts. 7 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,160 Nothing's going to help me. I just want to eat something like a big fat stick. 8 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,400 Where are the girls? Where are the girls? 9 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:53,420 One hamburger to each couple. That way we make it a long evening. Gee, Sarge, I 10 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,440 hope the girls are good looking. 11 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,860 You trust me. I tell you, that number I found on the phone booth had four stars 12 00:00:57,860 --> 00:01:01,080 next to it. And when a sailor puts four stars next to a girl's number, that 13 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,120 ain't for perfect attendance. 14 00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:06,360 Who are Ava Gardner's best friends? 15 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,740 Marilyn Monroe and Kim Novak. Tell your beauties, travel and pack. 16 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:10,940 Oh, man, 17 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,520 I told you. You got class. You got savoir faire. 18 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,560 Thanks, Sarge. I thought you took us because we were the only two guys left 19 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,560 camp with money. 20 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,200 Thank you very much, gentlemen. 21 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,520 If you intended to cut me, you certainly did. This is the thanks you give me? I 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,620 arrange three great dates? I get your weekend passes? This is the way you show 23 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:29,479 your gratitude? 24 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,620 I'm sorry. Never mind. 25 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,780 But did you bring the money? If you call three bucks money, how about you, Dino? 26 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:38,220 Four dollars. How about you, Sarge? The phone call tapped me out. 27 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:42,220 Come on. He just said one for six people. Don't you worry about it, pal. 28 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,380 have seven dollars in cash. 29 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,360 But we got a million dollars worth of charm. And if we weren't this right... 30 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,220 We can get back to camp with change yet. Hey, Sarge, this place is deserted. 31 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:50,999 Of course. 32 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000 The fleet's out. 33 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,020 You know what they say. 34 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,700 When the sailors are away, the soldiers will play. 35 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,700 Here come three girls. 36 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:58,900 I hope that's them. 37 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,420 Wowee, wow. I like them all. 38 00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:02,980 Please. 39 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:08,360 One girl apiece. This is no smorgasbord. I'll do all the talking. Up. Up. 40 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,680 You are the soldiers, I presume. 41 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,160 Oh, it's true. It's true what they say. All the pretty girls are in San Diego. 42 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,540 Oh, you're cute. 43 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:21,760 Whom of you gentlemen found my number in the phone booth? It was I, Ernest G. 44 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,840 Bilko, and you are Bridget Hepperwhite? 45 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,440 Likewise. And these are my companions. 46 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:31,960 This is Maine Cirillo and Myrna Duval. Splendid. Splendid. How are you? May I 47 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,440 present to you a society's loftiest playboys, Dino Paparelli and Fielding 48 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,740 Zimmerman. Ladies, shall we? Put it down! Oh, okay. 49 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,680 He came right from Harvard into the army. I'm standing. 50 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:46,060 Sergeant. 51 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:47,780 Here we are. 52 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,600 Well, 53 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,179 we're all here. 54 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,080 Boy, could I go for a steak? A steak? 55 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,250 A steak in San Diego. 56 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:04,630 Did you hear that, Dino? Yeah. My dear, aren't you aware of the gourmet's golden 57 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:08,830 rule? Never have oysters in a month without an hour on it. And never eat 58 00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,830 in San Diego. 59 00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:14,650 Are you going to eat or are you going to talk? 60 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,430 Eat, eat. Well, if everybody is hungry. Waiter. 61 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:23,810 Waiter. What do you have? Well, I have... Oh, my dear, I'm the host. 62 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:24,910 I'll do the order again. 63 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,900 We want something very special. You better write this down so we get it all 64 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,080 correct the way we want it. 65 00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:33,140 Now, your chef, he is Union. Union, he'll understand the instructions. All 66 00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:35,140 right, I want you to get the apparel. You find his beef. 67 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,360 Then grind his beef into fine, fine texture. 68 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,060 Garnish it with various spices. 69 00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:42,160 Little garlics, little chippy, chippy onions. 70 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:46,180 You understand? And then form them into little individual patties. Put them 71 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,180 under a low flame. 72 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,380 And when they come to the proper grilling point, put them on an 73 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:55,140 little bun and bring them to a... Hey, that... Hamburger. 74 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,480 Is that what it is? I could never think of the name. Yes. Three hamburgers with 75 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,480 the works. 76 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,960 Hey, 77 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:12,860 Sarge, I think we're finished. The flea tank. 78 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,820 Relax. You just say hello to an old friend of Bridget. We thought of this 79 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,220 Bridget. Oh, Bridget. Zender is here. 80 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,600 Bridget. Ah. 81 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,220 Gee, Larry, you look great. Yes, he does have a nice tan. Now, look, Vincent, on 82 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,900 your breaker. What a break, honey. Our maneuvers were cut short all week. Are 83 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,520 you doing anything tonight? Not a thing. 84 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,540 What about these three creeps? Creeps? 85 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,460 Looking for trouble, soldier? 86 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,600 You're lucky, sailor, because I got two more weeks to go to get my good conduct 87 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,820 medal. Come on, baby, let's blow this joint. I got two months' pay bursting a 88 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:44,719 hole in my pocket. 89 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,460 Let's all go someplace and get a great, big, juicy steak. 90 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,579 A steak? 91 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,580 I'm with you. 92 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,619 Me too. 93 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,620 Me too. 94 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:57,160 You want to stand around and let those sailors take our girls? Are you nuts? 95 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,800 This joint is full of sailors. We start anything here, they'll use us for 96 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,220 anchors. What do we do now, Todd? What do we do now? You know what they say, 97 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,500 when the cat comes home, the mice crawl back in a hole. 98 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,640 I'll call a bus thief and see if we can get the next bus back to Grove City. 99 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,540 Dime. Dime, dime, dime. 100 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,810 Will you get me the bus, people, please? 101 00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:24,210 Hiya, Bert. Hi, Freddy. What'll it be? 102 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:27,910 Drinks for everybody, Bert. What time is the next bus leave for Grove City, 103 00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:30,310 please? What's with the drinks for everybody, Freddy? 104 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:35,610 Yes, there'll be three of us. I am in the chips again. I just won $250. 105 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:38,110 The next bus leave's at $250? 106 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:43,180 Where did you win this kind of money, Freddy? In the big crowd game. We have 107 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:44,960 another bus leaving for the big crap game. 108 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,420 One guy won it for 800 bucks. 109 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,000 Oh, you got room for us. Oh, yeah, there'll be 800 of us. 110 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,840 Just a minute, please. 111 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,560 Did you say all weekend? 112 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,080 Yeah. Is there a bus leaving Monday morning? 113 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,600 Come on, Sarge. When are we leaving? We're not leaving. What do you mean? The 114 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,380 biggest crap game since Albuquerque came back from Manila is going on in this 115 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:09,300 town right now. But we only got seven bucks. 116 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,860 Seven. See? We're lucky already. 117 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,340 This is our chance to get back at the Navy. All right. Where's the game? This 118 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:19,640 sailor right here knows. We'll ask him. Come on. Sailor, could you... Excuse me 119 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,379 a minute. 120 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,380 Sailor was just here. 121 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,300 Very good friend of mine. He invited me to the crap game. Do you know where it 122 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,640 is? Don't ask me, buddy. When there's that much money floating around, the 123 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:28,640 is top secret. 124 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:29,780 Yeah. 125 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,100 Hi, everybody. 126 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:33,630 Let me buy you a drink. 127 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,850 Is the game the same place it was last year? 128 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,090 How could it be? Last year it was in Honolulu. 129 00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:40,910 Well, 130 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:45,230 where is it this year? I don't know. I only got 50 bucks. 131 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,810 They wouldn't even talk to me. 132 00:06:47,410 --> 00:06:52,230 I gotta get in that game. Darn old crap game. 133 00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:54,130 I'll lose it. Come on. Hey, Bert. 134 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:58,010 Can I have a drink in the cup? On a cup? You've been away for three months. What 135 00:06:58,010 --> 00:06:59,010 happened to all your pay? 136 00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:00,330 I blew it in two rolls. 137 00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,230 How can I be such a jerk? Excuse me, pal. I couldn't help you in your 138 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:05,730 unfortunate... Let me buy you a drink. 139 00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:06,909 What a jerk. 140 00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,890 Three months paid down the drain. Down the drain? Is that where the game was? 141 00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:10,930 the sewer? Down the drain? Why? 142 00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:12,810 Why did I ever go there? 143 00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:15,870 Well, where? Where, why? Why, where? I'm walking down the street. 144 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:18,830 Suddenly, one of my buddies says, let's go to the bowling alley. 145 00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:23,730 Bowling alley. Which bowling alley? But do I go to the bowling alley? You 146 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:24,689 didn't. No. 147 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,170 No, you didn't. I had to go to the... 148 00:07:28,910 --> 00:07:32,330 Did you cry a little clearer? I didn't hear that. Oh, I learned my lesson. 149 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:35,250 well, I want to learn my lesson. Never again. 150 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:38,930 This has happened to me for the last time. What am I going to tell my wife? 151 00:07:39,390 --> 00:07:42,730 Well, just walk in, lay on the table and say, Honey, I blew all my money at the 152 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,230 cat game. And then tell her the name of it. You want to save your marriage, 153 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:46,510 don't you? Where was the game? 154 00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:51,090 I've been looking all over for you. Here's a hundred bucks I owe you. 155 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,410 A hundred bucks? 156 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,990 Where are you going? This time, our ship is coming in. Come on. 157 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,070 You back again? 158 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,150 And I got fresh loot. 159 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:09,290 Come on in. 160 00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:15,250 Did you hear that, Sarge? He gave a secret knock. Don't worry. The tape 161 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,510 was on. I got it over. This is what I always dreamed about. A warehouse full 162 00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:19,510 money. 163 00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:25,730 you want. I'm running the game. I've got plenty of loot here. Let's get going. 164 00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:28,110 This is a Navy game, buddy. Shut up. Wait a minute. 165 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,270 We play football together. Why not an Army and Navy crap game? 166 00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,549 Smell that? Did you get a whiff of that green? I'm telling you, I've got to get 167 00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:40,470 in there. Forget it, Sarge. You haven't got a chance. 168 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:44,970 Look, as long as there's a brain in his head, breath in his body, and greed in 169 00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:46,410 his heart, there's always a chance. 170 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:56,910 the Asajj. Just stop calling me Asajj. From now on, it's Chief. 171 00:08:57,110 --> 00:09:00,470 Okay, Chief, but if they find out you're Asajj, we'll get 20 years. Will you 172 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,590 relax? It's just for an hour, just long enough to make a killing, and then it's 173 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:06,670 back to Sam's Army and Navy, so they're back in our own uniforms. Let me handle 174 00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:07,670 it. Okay, here goes. 175 00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,650 What do you want? Hiya, mate. We just blew into port looking for a little 176 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:17,130 action, and we got plenty of that seaweed with numbers on it. 177 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:18,430 Haven't I seen you before? 178 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:22,530 It's possible. Most of us on the Nautilus were seen on TV, newsreels, 179 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:23,530 tape parades. 180 00:09:23,870 --> 00:09:26,190 I don't want to hear it in there. You know what I mean? They'll start 181 00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,750 breaking up the game. What do you say, Nate? Okay, Chief. 182 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:29,669 Okay, Nate. 183 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,670 Aye, aye, Dutch. 184 00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:36,770 Hey, watch this point. Five. Five. Ten, he don't make it. It's not. 185 00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:38,090 Okay. Seven. 186 00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:39,530 Seven. Five. Five. 187 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:45,370 Who's dying? Who's dying? I was waiting here and now in the open. Here we go. 188 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:46,820 Do you want an accident? 189 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,340 This is it. I'll go easy on you, boys. I'll shoot five. 190 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,459 I've got 200. 191 00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:51,460 I've got the other 300. 192 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,660 500? Hey, Chief, you only got a $5 bill on the deck. 193 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:59,420 Oh, well, it must be these glasses. By mistake, I... Well, we'll just shoot the 194 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:01,520 $5. Go ahead. Shoot the 500. 195 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:03,020 We'll trust you. Go on. 196 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,880 I'm sure we'll trust you. You're Navy. 197 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,980 Thank you, Mr. Daddy. Oh, Daddy, you need to do something. 198 00:10:12,550 --> 00:10:14,450 Four. That's a tough point. 199 00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:21,090 Here we go. One, two, three, four. Watch the point that I am doing. And it is 200 00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,150 eight. Five. 201 00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,130 All right, 202 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:30,050 boys. Up the ante. Shoot 500 and five down. 203 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:35,710 All right. Come on, 204 00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:39,410 Dicey. You'll be good to me. Daddy will be good to you. And here it is. And it 205 00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:40,410 is eight. 206 00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:47,700 One more roll, I'll buy my own ship. I'll open my own if your boy's shooting 207 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,300 I got 250. 208 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,080 50, wait a minute, 50 open. 209 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,419 Broke again. 210 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,800 What am I going to tell my wife? 211 00:10:57,540 --> 00:10:58,540 You're faded. 212 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,520 All right, coming up. Anything? 213 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,100 Anything's eight. 214 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,480 Five, I'll take three to two. 215 00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:13,080 Gentlemen, you've got here just in time. I have the evidence right here. Skip 216 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,120 the fast talk, Chief. What are you doing with all that money? 217 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,540 Well, you see, I'm the payroll clerk, and I seem to have missed a few fellas. 218 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,920 There they are. 219 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,280 Seeming properly, you have back pay coming up. 220 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,800 $1 ,800, and there it is. A new frogman's in them, and the heroism 221 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,480 The Navy's proud of what you've done. 222 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,260 It didn't very close to my ledger. 223 00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:35,020 yesterday. She will take that money. Grab it. Wait a minute. What do you 224 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:35,999 take that money? 225 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,520 Admiral's orders. All money confiscated in gambling raids goes to Navy relief. 226 00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:43,060 Okay, sailor. Let's have your name and ship. Hey, Sarge, if they find out we're 227 00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:46,540 soldiers, we'll get 20 years. Get 40 years. 20 years to reach service. What's 228 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,540 your name? 229 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:48,940 Papa. 230 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:52,480 Papa. Papa. All right. He's one of my men. I'll vouch for him. Let Papa speak 231 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,800 for himself. What ship you on, Papa? 232 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,400 Ship? I'm with the... You, you, you. You, you, what? 233 00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,060 What ship are we on? 234 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:00,229 Yes, sir. 235 00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:01,230 Yes, sir. 236 00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:04,070 Chief, what ship are we with? Yeah, Chief, what ship are you with? 237 00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:11,390 We're on the board. The grand old vessel we served under has been put up in mock 238 00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,390 form. 239 00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:17,190 Don't say that name. It tugs right at my heart. I've been looking for you guys. 240 00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:20,330 All personnel from the Wilson have been transferred to the Saratoga. 241 00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:24,010 Did you hear that, Shipmates? We've been transferred to the Saratoga. I guess 242 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,010 they want us to report aboard. 243 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,280 Monday morning, seven, they'll shout. No, they want you aboard right now. Take 244 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,300 the rest of these guys down to shore patrol headquarters. 245 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,620 You three, come with me. 246 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,320 Hey, Sarge, they're going to put us on a boat. 247 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,920 We've got to change back to our uniforms. 248 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,260 Oh, shore patrol, on our way over, I suppose we could pass Sam's Army and 249 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,760 store. They have a sale of compasses. Come on. Let's go. 250 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,040 Let's go. 251 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,380 What am I going to tell my wife? 252 00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:56,130 Excuse me, sir. We rounded up three more men from the Wilson. We caught them in 253 00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:59,850 a gambling raid, sir. Oh, gambling, eh? Well, maybe they got away with that on 254 00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:00,529 the Wilson. 255 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:01,590 But not on my ship. 256 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:05,530 Bring them in. Aye, aye, sir. In here, the captain wants to see it. 257 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,210 Oh. 258 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,250 So you men were caught gambling, eh? 259 00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:13,990 Well, you certainly ought to know better than that, Chief. 260 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:15,890 When did you join the Navy? Yesterday? 261 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,250 Yes, sir. What? 262 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,559 to save yourself. 263 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,160 Oh, I'm so ashamed, sir. I just can't stop gambling. Throw me off the ship 264 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:29,340 before I give it a bad name. Which way is the gangway? Now, ordinarily, I'd 265 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,340 throw the book at you for gambling. 266 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:34,440 But since you men of the Wilson just came back from four months of sea duty 267 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,780 are about to go out for six more months, I will overlook it this time. Six 268 00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:40,460 months? Six months. But I only got a three -day pass. What was that? 269 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,520 Oh, he said he's been three years before the mass, sir. I think he's had too 270 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,740 much sea duty, sir. Really? 271 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:47,800 What's your name, sailor? 272 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,200 Well, I'm very sorry, Papa. 273 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,600 You're going to have to ship out for another cruise. 274 00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:57,000 Oh, in that case, we'll have to say goodbye to our loved ones. I think 275 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,040 phone in San Domingo Navy Star. Good morning from the bridge, sir. We're on 276 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,040 way. What's our speed? 277 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,060 10 knots, sir. Very good. As soon as we clear the harbor, increase it to 15 278 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:07,540 knots. Aye, aye, sir. Clear the harbor? That means we're at... What? 279 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:08,959 What'd you say? 280 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,300 Why, you... Oh, sir, how... Oh, you fool! 281 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,520 How could you, sir? This man's been tinkering with the security of our 282 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,420 government. He spoke at a bar, sir. They know where we're going, sir. You know 283 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:19,239 what the posts say. 284 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,520 Loose lips sink ships. 285 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,900 Don't be ridiculous. 286 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,340 Oh, look at that. Through the porthole I see a periscope, so you'd better zip. 287 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,400 Now, that's enough. 288 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,000 You men get below to the galley where you belong and start preparing 289 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,300 Galley, sir? 290 00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:36,430 Well, unless they lied to me at Annapolis, those insignias you're 291 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,930 your arms mean that you're stewards, don't they? Now get below. 292 00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,350 Yes, sir. 293 00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:41,970 Oh, sir, how many for breakfast? 294 00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:43,049 1 ,800. 295 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,050 1 ,800. 296 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:49,090 I forgot to pick up the eggs, so you'll have to put my men and I back in a tent 297 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,370 and let us go back to shop. Now get below! 298 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:51,630 Right now, you... 299 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,120 Other guys go AWOL. They go to New York, Miami Beach. 300 00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:07,280 This is probably the first time anyone went AWOL to the Navy. 301 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,380 I'm thinking, I'm thinking. 302 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:13,660 Chief, fix this opening. I want to make sure it's okay. I don't want anyone to 303 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:16,480 get sick like last time. You've got to worry about everything on this ship. 304 00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:20,140 You call this opening? Give me opening with lumps in it. Lumps. Go on, move it. 305 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:21,760 Sick. 306 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,400 Sick. 307 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:28,320 Sick. Sick. Sick. Who's sick? He's sick. 308 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:31,630 I'm just homesick, Sarge. That's all. You don't understand. I want to get you 309 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:35,010 home, but first you've got to be sick. Very sick. How sick am I? Oh, I'm afraid 310 00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,010 you're going to need an operation. 311 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:39,190 And I'll have to fly you back to port. Once we get back to port, it's a short 312 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:41,130 ambulance ride to Sam's Army and Navy store. 313 00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:44,490 How about us? We've got to go along with him. You know why? You're his blood 314 00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:47,530 type. And when he's in a coma, he keeps yelling for me. Remember that. He 315 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,790 wouldn't dare separate us. Great. What kind of an operation am I going to have, 316 00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:54,410 Sarge? Here, girl. How about your tonsils? Had them out. Had noise? Had 317 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:56,090 out. What do you got left? Everything I need. 318 00:15:58,270 --> 00:15:59,550 Appendix. My appendix? 319 00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:03,590 Sure. Once we get back to port, you suddenly recover. 320 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,130 Well, 321 00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:08,450 why does it hurt you, sailor? Does it hurt that? 322 00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:10,950 Breakdown! Oh, I was afraid of that. 323 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:14,350 Appendicitis! What's the trouble, Chief? Oh, sir, this man has had a sudden 324 00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:16,270 attack of acute appendicitis, sir. 325 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,410 Appendicitis? He might have to be operated on. Yes, sir. I'll go up to the 326 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:21,590 flight deck and have him warm up a plane, sir. 327 00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:24,910 Ernie, Ernie! Don't worry, sailor, I won't leave you. 328 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,970 He sounds pretty sick. Yes, I'm afraid so, sir. And the plane will have to 329 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,790 arrange for a blood transfusion. I hope he can find his blood type B. 330 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:35,090 Does anyone on this ship have blood type B? 331 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,260 That's what I'd be, sir. You do? You'll have to come along with us, sailor. Grab 332 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,260 his legs. 333 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,460 Which way to the flight deck, sir? Never mind the flight deck. Get this man 334 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,200 right to the sickbay. We have facilities to operate here on the ship. 335 00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:50,320 The plane is moving. 336 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,900 Oh, yes. Where is it here? Higher. Here? Higher. Here? Yes, sir. Oh, it's just a 337 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,420 severe headache. I'll give you a couple of aspirins. You'll be right back to 338 00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,940 squeezing the oranges. Let's all work on it. 339 00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,920 So you have facilities to operate right on the ship, sir. 340 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,140 Carry on. Thank you, sir. 341 00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:08,400 Keeps no more operations, Sarge. 342 00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:09,980 I'm thinking. I'm thinking. 343 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,800 Come on. Come on. 344 00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,839 I'm not going to do it, Sarge. I'm not going to do it. 345 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,579 We are telling you this is a safe plan. 346 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,869 For you it's safe. For me it's wet and dangerous. 347 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:31,390 All you do is jump over. We'll never take our eyes off you. We yell, man 348 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:34,570 overboard. They order a rowboat in there for you. We keep rowing after you. Keep 349 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,570 swimming. First thing you know, we're in Sam's Army and Navy store drying off. 350 00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:40,010 Why do I have to do it? What are you complaining about? 351 00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,050 I already had appendicitis. That's right. 352 00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,470 All right. Which way is sure? 353 00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:49,330 That way. To your right is San Diego. To your left is Hawaii. 354 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:51,730 Be sure you swim to the right. 355 00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:57,110 What? Wait a minute, Sergeant. I hear someone coming. Oh, well, sailor, 356 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,070 remember, a life jacket is a seaman's best friend. The maintenance officer... 357 00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:04,910 Oh, how do you do, sir? Just inserting the men in life jackets will, sir. Oh, 358 00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:08,430 very well. Carry on. Splendid. Captain, we're all prepared for Operation 359 00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:11,250 Frogman. I can have a hundred men in the water in five minutes. 360 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,370 No, I'm afraid you're going to have to cancel it, Lieutenant Larson. 361 00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:17,770 I just had a report that a huge school of tiger sharks has been sighted in 362 00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:18,770 waters. Tiger sharks? 363 00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:20,910 They can tear a man to pieces in a matter of minutes. 364 00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:22,370 Come along. 365 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,550 All right, all right. Come down. 366 00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:30,370 1 ,800 dumplings. 367 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,470 And we don't have to worry about getting back. This meal will sink the ship. 368 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:35,550 I'm thinking, I'm thinking. 369 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:37,890 Ted, Ted! 370 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,930 Carry on. Thank you, sir. Oh, uh, Chief, I, uh... 371 00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:43,130 I would like to ask a very special favor of you. 372 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:44,249 Anything, sir. 373 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,790 Well, you see, this happens to be the first time that my wife and I have been 374 00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:50,450 separated on our wedding anniversary. Oh, that's too bad, sir. Oh, I know it 375 00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:53,270 will be fun, sir. Why don't you turn the ship right around and go back and 376 00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:55,690 surprise her, sir? I only wish that I could, chief. 377 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:59,510 However, we've always managed to top off our anniversary meal with a very 378 00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:02,770 special dessert that she makes. Oh, well, I'll speak to the pastry chef 379 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:05,070 sir. He won't find it in any of the cookbooks, I promise you that. 380 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,650 My wife calls it a teddy bear. 381 00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:10,330 Teddy bear sounds delicious, sir. It is, it is, really. It's a sort of a... 382 00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:14,690 Baked Alaska with chocolate sauce all over it. Oh, well, sir, I'll see that 383 00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:16,790 have it for dinner tonight, sir, and happy anniversary. 384 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,210 Thank you, Chief. Thank you. I certainly appreciate that. 385 00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:25,030 My, my, my, that certainly looks good, doesn't it? Oh, my thumb. Did you burn 386 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,010 your thumb, sir? Would you like some butter? I don't know. 387 00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:29,530 No, it's all right. 388 00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:30,870 It's all right. 389 00:19:34,910 --> 00:19:38,550 I got it. I got it. What, Sarge? What have you got? The recipe for getting us 390 00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:39,550 back to San Diego. 391 00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:43,850 How? How? I've seen it in the movies. The cane mutiny. This one officer tries 392 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:47,670 convince this lieutenant that the captain is off his course. He does 393 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:50,890 him. So the lieutenant takes over the boat and sails it right back home again. 394 00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:54,570 Throw me to the sharks. It's safer. Sergeant, I'm going to tell the 395 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:55,670 that the captain is nuts. 396 00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:59,470 Look, I don't want to tell the same pathetic story twice. I'll wait until 397 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,650 Lieutenant Larson gets here. 398 00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:07,570 Now, you men, these dumplings look a little heavy to me. I want the men to 399 00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:10,450 light, fluffy dumplings. Now, what's this big emergency about, Chief? 400 00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:13,790 There's that macaroni and cheese for tonight's dinner. Get to work on it 401 00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:14,790 away. Aye, aye, sir. 402 00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:18,970 Sir, where's the captain? 403 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:20,530 He's on the bridge. 404 00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,430 Good heavens, he's not steering the ship, is he, sir? 405 00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:24,650 Of course he is. 406 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,970 Now, what's this all about? 407 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:30,470 Oh, sir, perhaps it's unimportant. Perhaps the incident is just trivial. I 408 00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:31,790 shouldn't have brought it up, sir. What incident? 409 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,600 The teddy bear incident, sir. 410 00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,280 What teddy bear? 411 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,240 The one the captain keeps asking for, sir. 412 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,520 Oh, I could bite my tongue for bringing this up, sir. 413 00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:45,980 Perhaps it's unimportant. 414 00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:49,900 I'll work with you men on that macaroni and cheese. Just a minute, chief. 415 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,980 The captain asked for a teddy bear? 416 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:53,959 Yes, sir. 417 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,240 Are you sure you heard him right? 418 00:20:55,580 --> 00:21:00,050 Sir. When the captain of your ship asks for a teddy bear, sir, you listen 419 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,050 carefully. 420 00:21:01,370 --> 00:21:03,530 Did he say why he wanted the teddy bear? 421 00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:07,770 Oh, I'm sure he has some explanation, sir. Not like that Captain Krieg of the 422 00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:10,110 Cay Mutiny. Him with that fuss about the strawberries. 423 00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:11,850 Oh, he was a dilly, sir. 424 00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:15,510 Did he have any kind of particular look on his face when he asked for the teddy 425 00:21:15,510 --> 00:21:19,070 bear? No, just like any six -year -old boy who wants his teddy bear, you know. 426 00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:24,880 Then there was this other thing, sir. 427 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,160 What other thing? 428 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:33,120 Well, after he asked for his teddy bear, sir, he... He kept sucking his thumb. 429 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:41,040 Captain Spencer, it's hard to believe. I know, sir, but... Oh, Chief. 430 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:44,960 Thank heavens he's off the bridge. Yes, sir. Chief, I'm a little tired tonight. 431 00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:47,880 I thought I'd turn in a little early. I was wondering, could I have my teddy 432 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:48,880 bear now? 433 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,340 I didn't want to go to sleep without it. 434 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,700 Yes, sir. You'll have it in your cabin immediately, sir. I'll be waiting. 435 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,420 Oh, Lieutenant, did the chief tell you about the teddy bear? 436 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,260 Yes, he did, sir. I suppose I sound like a sentimental old fool, don't I? 437 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,640 Not at all, sir. Now, how's your thumb, sir? Thumb? 438 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:07,620 Oh, it's all right. 439 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,240 I hope you're not too late. What can I do? 440 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,740 Well, sir, I hate to change it, but according to naval law, you should take 441 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,780 the ship, sir, and sail us right back home again, sir. 442 00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:23,880 That's mutiny. Well, sir, it's either mutiny or Captain Teddy Bear takes over 443 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:24,880 the wheel. 444 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,700 Got to think this over. Oh, Lieutenant, I almost forgot. 445 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,980 Will you report to my quarters at once, please? We have reached point X. It's 446 00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:33,380 time for us to open our sealed orders. 447 00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:37,500 Better work fast, sir. And the chief, would you please bring another plate 448 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,860 you to my quarters? I want the lieutenant to taste the teddy bear. 449 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,100 Taste it? 450 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,160 It's baked Alaska with chocolate sauce all over it. My wife makes it. You'll 451 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:46,859 love it. 452 00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:48,460 You know, that tongue of mine still burns. 453 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,660 Yes, sir. 454 00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:54,540 But you kept raising doubts. 455 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:56,480 I'll help you with that macaroni, man. 456 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,800 Sarge, you mean we're just going to go in and tell the captain we're soldiers? 457 00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:10,600 Look, we can't stay on this ship for six months. We've just got to take what's 458 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,700 coming to us. That's all. I hope we're all in the same jail. 459 00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:16,510 It's a fine parley this has been, huh? From army khaki to navy blue to prison 460 00:23:16,510 --> 00:23:20,730 gray, well... Yes, come in. 461 00:23:22,930 --> 00:23:24,570 Oh, you wanted to see me, Chief? 462 00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:25,729 Yes, sir. 463 00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:27,490 We have a confession to make, sir. 464 00:23:28,050 --> 00:23:29,350 Confession? What is it? 465 00:23:29,770 --> 00:23:33,910 Well, sir, we're proud to be members of the armed forces, serving side by side, 466 00:23:33,910 --> 00:23:35,770 and that is, sir, a man... 467 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,320 In the service is a serviceman, whether he's in the Army or the Navy, sir. 468 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:42,060 That's a very interesting philosophy, of course, but what has it got to do with 469 00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:43,100 you? A lot, sir. 470 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:47,180 I was just thinking, sir, why couldn't there be one service, and that way a man 471 00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:49,820 could be in the Army and in the Navy, sir? Oh, no, impossible. 472 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,460 It would never work. Oh, but it did. 473 00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:53,100 What? I mean, it would, sir. 474 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,660 Just what is it you're trying to say? 475 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:57,119 Oh, sir. 476 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,940 I'll lay it on the table, sir. My men and I are... I beg your pardon, sir, but 477 00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:00,899 we're in San Francisco. 478 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:01,900 San Francisco? 479 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,160 Well, you seem pleasantly surprised, Chief. 480 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:07,740 Our first stop on our way to Alaska. 481 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:09,440 Alaska? 482 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,900 Sorry, all of the men are going to get 36 hours liberty in San Francisco. 483 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:16,660 Now then, what was it you wanted to tell me? 484 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,080 As you, sir, I... Oh, oh, it's just that it's been a pleasure serving under you, 485 00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:24,180 sir. It's like being in the Navy for the first time, sir. Well, thank you very 486 00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:27,220 much, Chief. Thank you, and have a good time in Portland. Thank you, sir, and 487 00:24:27,220 --> 00:24:29,300 until we meet again, sir, we salute you. 488 00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:31,240 For the Captain, he did. Hooray! 489 00:24:32,250 --> 00:24:33,330 Come to the next bus to Grove City. 490 00:24:33,790 --> 00:24:34,729 Thank you. 491 00:24:34,730 --> 00:24:37,790 We'll be back to camp in plenty of time. Boy, it's good to be back in this old 492 00:24:37,790 --> 00:24:41,350 army uniform again, kid. Besides, there's a Sam's Army in every store and 493 00:24:41,350 --> 00:24:43,650 port. Well, look, we've got three and a half hours to kill in San Francisco. 494 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:46,110 What do you want to do? Want to see a movie? Hey, Frankie, there's a big crack 495 00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:46,969 game in town. 496 00:24:46,970 --> 00:24:47,970 Yeah.